SURGERY AND THE THIRD WEEK: AKA THE WEEK THE ANGER SET IN

Well, it had to happen eventually. I mean, you can’t have knee surgery and not get angry during the recovery process. Right? Or maybe that’s just me. And man, if it’s just me, then I might need some help because I was definitely more frustrated and angry than anything during this past week.

THE GOOD

I may have been more frustrated but I did have some good days. Like Wednesday when I got my stitches out and it became okay for me to shower without a plastic bag on my leg!! WOOO!!! And yes, that also means I can take the brace off for the shower. SO. HAPPY!!!

I also managed to get in a couple of actual workouts this week, too! Admittedly, one was just a push-up, sit-up complex but still. Work is work!

Surgery and the third week: aka the week the anger set it

Plus, I’ve been using resistance bands tied to either an assault bike or the rig and doing my ankle exercises. And no-one questions me laying down on the floor and doing my PT exercises anymore. Now it’s just part of the daily routine at the gym. haha

I was really stoked that I could pretty much do the actual programmed workout on Thursday. Only had to change one thing! The workout included kettle bell swings, which is obviously out of the question, so I substituted seated dumbbell presses instead. Not anywhere close to the same movement stimulus but I needed/wanted something else to do in that spot.

Surgery and the third week: aka the week the anger set in

I’m going to try to get a few (2-3) workouts in each week, if I can manage it. The crutches are definitely a workout but I need more! For my fitness and definitely for my sanity.

I’m getting more proficient on the crutches – still scooting down the stairs to the basement to scoop the kitty litter but I can climb up them now! – and I’m thisclose to getting a pistol squat with my right leg. #brightside I’ve also improved at navigating around in the kitchen and doing a little more cooking. Still wears me out but at least I’m not eating cereal all the time, right?

Physical therapy is going pretty well. We’ve added an ankle weight to my leg lifts so I can get more quad engagement. We did 1 lb at first and then upped it to 2 lbs. I’ll tell you what – 2 lbs isn’t a lot but boy did it feel heavy!! haha

THE BAD

It’s only been a few weeks but look at how small my left leg is already! *sob*

Surgery and the third week: aka the week the anger set in

I took that picture the day my stitches came out so my left leg looks even smaller to me now since that was pretty much a week ago. *sigh*

If you look closely at my left shin, you can see the yellowing of a bruise. Well, now it’s a nice blue/purple and it goes all the way down to my heel! My shin is definitely tender. Guess that’s what happens when the doctor drills a hole in your leg.

So, I discovered I can’t grocery shop by myself. My work schedule and Thing 2’s work schedule made a weekend shopping trip out of the question. I had a few things that I needed to get so I thought I would brave the store on my own. I went to my local Food Lion and I live in a small town and I didn’t see a motorized cart anywhere. I started with a normal-sized cart and figured out pretty quickly THAT was not going to work. So, I crutched over to the other entrance where the small carts were and tried one of those. I got maybe 3 steps – push, crutch, push, crutch – and decided NO. WAY. I was right by the manager’s area and there were plenty of employees right there and no one said a single thing to me or asked if I needed help. Now, granted I didn’t look at them because I didn’t really want to draw too much attention to myself so I don’t know if they even saw me. BUT, how can you miss the girl on crutches trying to wrangle a cart? Whatever. I just left the cart and turned and crutched my way out of the store. Ugh. Luckily, after I got into my truck, I looked in my sideview and saw Thing 2’s future mother-in-law (she had just finished loading her truck!) and I got out and asked for help and she went shopping with me!! AND brought the groceries home and helped me get them in the house. 🙂 So, while this started off bad, it ended on a good note! That being said, I don’t even know how I’m going to manage the next few weeks if I can’t shop on my own. UGH!

I also discovered that getting in and out of the bathtub downstairs is a little more difficult than I thought it would be, even with a shower chair for help. Soooo, I have to go upstairs to shower. Nothing like adding MORE time onto things that normally took very little. Seriously, it takes me at least twice as long, if not longer, to do things I could normally do in 5 minutes (like feeding the animals, etc.) Don’t even get me started on how long it takes me to do laundry or empty the dishwasher. :/

Oh, and if I spend too much time up and about (what? who, me?), my foot swells up like a balloon. And then I have a fat foot and kankles. It’s super attractive.

THE UGLY

Well, might as well address the elephant in the room – my bad attitude. It was really bad on Friday. I was just so angry and frustrated and tired of having to do ALL. THE. THINGS. by myself. And I can’t even DO all the things. Thing 2 came over on Saturday to vacuum, which was SUPER helpful but I feel like the house is a mess, my life is upside down, and I’m just so wiped out all of the time.

I had to force myself to pause and come up with things that I was thankful for before I went to bed angry and that helped. It really did. I mean, I’m still frustrated but I know this period is going to be brief, the surgery was for the best, everything is going so well so far, and I’ll be back to two legs before I even know it.

I’m also a little terrified about that thought. I know it sounds ridiculous but I’m scared of the day the physical therapist says, “okay, time to put some weight on that leg.” I mean, what if it hurts? What if my knee doesn’t want to work properly? WHAT. IF?!?!?! Irrational, right? I know. I can’t help it, though. I’m sure I’ll be fine and I know they aren’t just going to say, “gimme those crutches and walk, woman!” I know it’s going to be baby steps (and honestly, that frustrates me too because I am SO. OVER. THESE. CRUTCHES! #catch22) and that I’ll probably be using support like bars, etc. I just need to stop stressing about it. It’s hard though and I’m scared.

Well, that took an unexpected little turn, now didn’t it? Sorry about that. But… #truth. And the truth isn’t always pretty. I guess the fact that I’m admitting it is good? Thanks for letting me tell it. 🙂

QUESTIONS:

  • What are you thankful for?
  • When you’re frustrated and angry, how do you snap yourself out of it?

6 COMMENTS

  1. SuzLyfe | 8th Mar 17

    Hang in there lady. It is hard to your equilibrium messed up in so many ways. One hop at a time…

    • Jennifer
      Jennifer | 9th Mar 17

      I’m working on it. “One hop at a time…” Lol! Thanks for the giggle 🙂

  2. Chocolaterunsjudy | 7th Mar 17

    I can’t even begin to imagine how frustrating that all is. You’re doing great! Screaming helps sometimes — seriously — except of course it scares the bejezus out of the animals.

    I’m so impressed that you are working out! I can’t even really do a pistol squat with 2 good legs! Those are hard.

    Many, many years ago I basically sliced off the top of a knuckle while at work. Being the scaredy cat I am, I slapped a few bandaids on it & eventually stopped the bleeding. I probably should have gone to the hospital, but . . . stitches.

    Anyhoo, when it finally did heal, I couldn’t bend my thumb. At all. I was really scared that by not getting stiches I screwed up my thumb, but eventually it was fine and I have no doubt eventually you will be too.

    Is there food delivery in your town?

    • Jennifer
      Jennifer | 7th Mar 17

      I may or may not have screamed a couple of times already. Haha. Friday. Definitely on Friday. I certainly appreciate your kind words! One of the hardest parts about this whole thing is not having someone around to talk to. As for food delivery, we have the standard pizza and Chinese. Everything else is too far away. 😞 It’ll be good though, like you said. I think I was just having some “moments.” Lol

  3. Larissa Dangerproneddaphne Brown | 7th Mar 17

    Aww Jenn, It will get better! Maybe I missed a post that explains where your husband is…I’m guessing he is away on military stuff. I know how you felt. I broke my foot and was reliant on everybody. My biggest gripe was that you take for granted how easy it is to move across the room to get something you need, and how often you do that…a pen, chapstick, refill your drink, go to the bathroom, etc. Be thankful it is your left leg OR you probably wouldn’t be able to drive around. I was very thankful for that too…

    • Jennifer
      Jennifer | 7th Mar 17

      Thanks, Larissa! <3 Yeah, he transferred to California in October. His dream job and I wanted to stay here for the grand babies. 🙂 It just makes it tough because we have the 5 animals and 3 floors. UGH. And I am SO thankful it's my left leg. I know I would be going bananas if I couldn't drive. At least this way I can still go to work! And exactly! I get settled and realize I left my water or I suddenly sneeze and need a tissue or realize I have to go to the bathroom. It's a never ending game of up and down and it can really be exhausting. Crutches are HARD work!! PS. Happy 6 months to your puppies! 🙂

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